i wanna get off. i wanna orgasm in a way that will make the world fall to pieces. i want the world to go away and just stop right where it is. things aren't perfect, far from it! but i'm afraid to progress. i'm afraid that if things go any further, it will just hurt more. i understand that without hurt there can be no joy, but man, where's the balancing factor in all of this? i feel i've been hurt way more than i've been happy. i'm sick of being burned. i'm sick of getting fucked over. i wanna curl up into a little ball and die. i get laid for the first time in months, fall in love with everything but the actual real thing about the dude and he's leaving. LEAVING. what the eff, life? cut me a break! now a chick i haven't seen since highschool is all in my business (in a very good way) but i'm paralyzed with terror. just what the hell am i supposed to do when taking the past into account in making sound judgments? go live in a cave as a hermit for the rest of my days?
man that sounds appealing...
all i can do is stare wide eyed as things just ... happen. i can't control them. the universe is trying to cram itself inside of my head. can't it hold still for two seconds so i can sort all this crap out???
HOLD STILL UNIVERSE!!
guh.
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