I must be stupid in the head. I can't handle the stress of another's stress. I'm not his mother, his counselor or his teacher. I'm supposed to be an adult confidant and a mature partner. I can't handle otherwise, I can't get better with this childish behavior. I can't be physical all the time, with or without a relationship. I need to be alone. I'm a lesbian, I don't want men in my life anymore. The more I try, the more I fail. Then again, my track record with women isn't much better, but the good times were so much more intense with her than any other person. What I don't understand is why I can't enjoy good things while I have them. I can't accept stability in exchange for a lie. So I break away to be alone again. I guess I'm not done evolving and changing, and I need to do this on my own without intimate help. I thought I was ready. I was wrong. If I must be lonely, I think I'd rather be alone.