everything i touch i break. what a true saying. i can't seem to do anything right and every time i think about swallowing a bottle of pills or putting a gun to my head, i have that beautiful ball and chain named Serenity that puts the brakes on. I curse her existence some days, tethering me to this wretched world that would be better off without me. I can't let her grow up without a mother, one that loves her and would do anything for her, even survive one more day just to see her face at the end of the week. I drag myself through every week just to see her smile when she sees me. I exist solely for her benefit. There is absolutely nothing but her to live for anymore. I wish i had died in that car crash, before all this mess. Go out on a high note. Everything about me is a lie. Every smile, every fantasy scenario, every dice roll, every hit, every step. I wish i was dead. I wish i was dead. I WISH I WAS DEAD.